I startle at unexpected sounds.
Quick unknown movements race my heart.
I never feel safe.
I watch everyone. Everyone is a danger
to me. I don’t know who they are.
I want to be left alone. I want to be safe.
Safe was innocence long ago.
I am not safe.
Someone is out there
who wants to me harm again.
He is out there waiting, as I wait
inside – in the dark, with the unexpected
sounds and the sudden movement of shadows.
I don’t dream, I nightmare.
I live in perpetual terror.
Somewhere he is out there – waiting.
Written: Nov. 2. 1999